Julie & Julia

Life has a way of imitating art or is it the other way around? Is truth stranger than fiction? It seems that way. Recently, I had the opportunity to watch the movie, “Julie and Julia” as I was traveling home by plane. First of all, just as the movie got started the TV monitors went blank and I learned that they had to be rebooted. Thirty minutes into the flight I resumed watching the movie. I enjoyed the comparison between the two J’s because both focused in on what they loved best – food. However, my fascination was their beginning efforts to write about their experiences. Both faced challenges, emotional upheavals, successes and failures. Both had husbands who supported them when everything seemed to go wrong and they got discouraged.

In my own life, I identified with them because I too started a venture that ran along similar lines. I wanted to do something that was beneficial and fun in my life. I began to write a book – a self help book to help people work through difficulties in their lives, especially in relationships. Just as the two J’s had their many ups and downs in writing their books, I did too. However, mine took about six years to complete. I didn’t work at it constantly over five years. This past year, though, I spent endless hours reworking, revising, and reviewing all that I had written. My husband stood beside me, very supportive and patient in the long haul. I was also fortunate in having a counselor friend who became my editor and my sister who was my computer guru journey with me throughout the entire process. Many a time I called both to commiserate my frustrations and discouragements. Needless to say, they carried me through and my book is now published and on the market.

I proudly present the book, Quest for Happiness Handling Difficult Relationships Using the FTA Approach with its accompanying CD: Quest for Happiness – Relaxation Techniques.

What I am really amused at is that the plane landed and the TV monitors shut down just at the climax of the story. How did the story end? I know Julie got calls about her blog and was given the opportunity to choose the publisher for her book. But did she ever meet Julia? I assume so. The irony of it for me is that my reality is exactly where the movie ended. How will my story end? I would not be able to predict what will happen to me. I just have to take it a day at a time and live each moment to the fullest, happy and at peace knowing I am loved and supported by my many caring family members and friends.

Anyone care to let me know how the movie ends? Or shall I take the time to discover that for myself!

Until the next time,

Bride

Life Can Be Beautiful...Looking After Yourself

The Christmas Robin...:O)
Originally uploaded by law_keven

"Life can be Beautiful…Looking After Yourself" - this is the title of the workshop that I will be giving at a counselors’ conference this coming week. As I review what I will be discussing with my participants, I realize how appropriate this topic is for me personally! Getting my book, "Quest for Happiness Handling Difficult Relationships Using the FTA Approach" published and my CD, "Quest for Happiness – Relaxation Techniques" produced have been a major project for me over the past three months.

Looking after myself, in some ways, has not been a major focus lately. Late nights, early risings and rushing to meet deadlines created stress both mentally and physically. At times, it has been overwhelming, frustrating and oftentimes, panic provoking.

However, when I come up for air and realize what is happening, I stop everything and take stock of my situation. I remember the Traffic Safety Rules: Stop! Look! Listen!

So I do that! I focus on nature! I look out my window and watch the robins landing on the Dog-Berry (also known as a Rowan or Mountain Ash) tree on our front lawn. They fly in, land gently on the branch and pick a berry. Some fly off, while others land on the ground and enjoy the feast. Still others skim along the grass, stop, peer at the ground and find that invisible worm! I am reminded of the quote that we should watch the birds and notice that “they neither spin nor sow” yet they are being cared for!

Immediately, I think: “What’s the rush? Why am I stressed out? If I can be like the robins, I can see how beautiful life can be!”

Consequently, I take a deep breath and feel my body relax, my mind slows down and my whole being becomes grounded.

How much nature can teach us, if we but stop, look and listen! Life is beautiful and I want to keep it that way!

Until next time,

Bride

The Water of Life

Water of Life
Originally uploaded by questforhappinessfta

Water in all of its forms has always fascinated me. Recently, I had the opportunity to take a walk along a river bank. The sound of the river intrigued me. Its song kept me spellbound! As I watched it flow freely, happily along, swirling against unseen rocks in its path, I was mesmerized by its energy. The longer I looked the more I realized the importance of water in my life – in all life.

Having grown up close to the Atlantic Ocean, I miss all the sights, sounds and smells of the sea when my travels take me far away from it. The sound of the surf, the screech of the seagulls and the smell of the salt air often woke me when I was growing up. Today, I live close to the ocean and I wonder daily at its beauty, majesty and sometimes ruthless power.

Day after day, news flashes force our attention on the heavy pollution of waters and oceans around the world. How can we hear the messages of the river if it is filled with toxic waste? What are we doing as individuals to reverse this process?

First of all, let’s focus on our bodies. What are we taking in that is toxic? Let’s spring clean. Consider the amount of processed food we eat daily along with the disposal containers that these foods come in. Let’s take stock and question our drinking habits. What do we ingest besides food and drink? What about the chemicals found in tobacco and other drugs which wreak havoc on our physical systems?

In addition to what we take into our bodies, let’s consider how we care for them. How much water do we use in our every day activities? How conscious are we of the value of water? When free of contaminants, water cleanses, it refreshes and it even heals.

As we become aware of how we treat our bodies, we realize anew the giftedness of being, of water and of creation. Nothing should be taken for granted. Our eyes become open to the fragility of life – our own life, the life of creatures around us, and the very earth we walk every day. In caring for our planet, we can make wholesome changes which in turn create a sense of wonder in ourselves.

Ponder on the importance of water. Have you ever experienced a lack of it? Think of the many areas in the world where they have little water. Often the water supply they do have is toxic, which causes disease and even death for many young children.

Not long ago, I listened to a radio interview of an eighty-four year old woman from Spain. In her broken English, she described how she conserved water daily. “When I want to brush my teeth,” she explained, “I put the toothpaste on my brush first, then I open the tap and wet it. I close the tap and brush my teeth. I open the tap to clean my brush. I close the tap and brush again. I open the tap to rinse my mouth and then close it.”

What is the message here? Environmentalists tell us that in North America alone each person uses 250 gallons of water a day. If you multiply that number by the entire population and compare it with the water consumption of the rest of the world, it makes us stop and think, doesn’t it?

As you reflect on your lifestyle around water, observe the good habits that are benefitting you, your family and the environment. If this is not the case, then begin to make changes.

Start with little things, such as; being grateful that water is abundant, and that it’s clean and refreshing. Become conscious of leaking taps, using excess water when washing the car or watering the lawn. These are luxuries in countries that must conserve water for food and drink.

Have you ever considered the messages found in water? In his book, The Hidden Messages in Water, Japanese researcher Masaru Emoto documents his findings. The different crystals photographed demonstrate the power of words. Beautiful crystals form when positive statements, such as Thank You, are breathed on the water. When negative statements such as I hate you are spoken, malformed and ugly crystals develop.

Just as words upon water empower the water to change for the better, you too can engage other people in this process. Promote a healthier way of living in food, drink and all the daily activities of your life. Positive reminders every now and then are helpful. The benefits will delight you, your family and the environment.

I want to empower each of you to journey to new wholeness in your daily life, blessing the water daily; grateful for all the wonderful joys you want to experience.

What are your thoughts? Please feel free to leave any comments, questions, or suggestions you’d like to offer.

In peace, and until next time,

Bride

Spring Cleaning Your Way to a New Life

Spring Buds
Originally uploaded by Jim-AR

Have you ever watched the wonder on a little child’s face when she’s holding newborn, yellow chicks in her hands? I remember my mother handing me several of them when I was three or four. I still recall the delight in feeling their warm, furry little active bodies. Mom reminded me not to squeeze them too hard because they were so delicate. Spring reminds me of them and the other new life cropping up at this time in nature.

Seeing the first robin, little shoots of green peeking up, and the crocuses beginning to bloom are all signs that spring has finally arrived. New life, giving me a sense of new hope, is all around me. As the weather warms up, people are seen in their gardens, cleaning up, preparing the soil, planting flowers or vegetables. This new energy seems to move inside the home as well as spring cleaning begins.

This is a good time to move inward and see what needs cleaning there. This is your opportunity to dust away the cobwebs and the deadwood from the winter and the past. If some of life’s events have been making you feel hopeless, now is the time to create new life, watch it take root, blossom, and begin to grow.

If you focus on how you feel, you will notice a couple of things. If you’re feeling down, your energy level is low. If you feel good about yourself and your life, your steps are light and your energy high. Notice if you are one or the other.

“But I’m neither one nor the other,” you say. What do you mean? Do you have a ‘blah’ feeling?

Examine your life and question why you are feeling this way. Take a step back and pretend that you are looking at yourself and your life from the lens of a camera. Do you like what you see? How come?

Describe your life as you see it. Video tape yourself as you answer these questions. As you watch objectively, list the things you would like to change and then brainstorm some solutions.

As you move from noting your feelings, focus on your thinking. Is your thinking the result of your feelings or are your feelings a product of your thinking? If it is the second case, then try thinking something different. For example, if you’re thinking, “My life is dull, boring and lifeless,” change it to “I am living a quiet and peaceful life. I am becoming energized to make a creative, positive change in my life.” Then begin the process by taking a deep breath and repeating these statements often until you begin to believe them and start acting on them. You will find that your spirits begin to lift and your attitude becomes more positive. In turn, you begin to feel better.

This is a good example of spring cleaning. If you have actually tried my suggestion, you will notice that you have moved from feeling down to feeling good, from thinking depressing thoughts to more cheerful ones. In turn, you have more energy to get moving and make those positive changes you identified earlier. The more energy you have, the better life flows creating a beautiful mosaic for yourself.

Just as nature changes from winter to spring so you too can feel a surge of new life and new hope. Listen to the birds, walk in the sunshine and sing a song of nature. Happy Spring!

Feel free to give me feedback about my suggestions. I’ll be writing more in the upcoming days, so stay tuned!

Until next time, be at peace,

Bride

Our Heroes and Heroines

Who is your hero?
Originally uploaded by questforhappinessfta

Who are the heroes or heroines in our lives? Just recently when I was reviewing a chapter in my book, Quest for Happiness, I asked myself that question. The chapter reflected on what would we consider to be the qualities of an ideal relationship as compared to the reality of our situation. It reminded me of my early childhood when I was first introduced to the fairy tales.

What about you? Think back in your own life growing up in your community. Who were your heroes? Who did you look up to? Isn’t it one or two of these from which you drew the qualities to base your significant relationships?

It is easy to think of the fictional ones as I did, because when we were little, we learned about Cinderella or Superman. Today, on videos and TV, young children watch them as well as others, such as Spiderman or Bakukan.

What qualities did you admire in the characters that you read about your favorite stories? Most likely these characters displayed strength, courage especially in terms of hardship or conflict, and power to overcome adverse conditions. They appealed to us because, like Cinderella, they either had a lovable, sweet nature or were capable of handling earth shattering disasters and saving the world, just like Superman.

The real heroes may seem harder to find especially in today’s world. Yet when we reflect on it, it is easier than we think. Just look around and see ordinary people doing extraordinary things. One that comes to mind is the heroism of many people in the 9/11 disaster. Even today, stories are still coming to light about the self-sacrifice of ordinary people.

What are the qualities of these people? Are they not those you possess? When crisis comes our way, do we not see the “stuff” of which we are made? Many examples of caring for others come to mind. The Mom who saves her child by lifting a heavy piano so he can breathe; the father who has to leave home to work in order to feed his family, or the older brother who comforts his little sister. We see neighbors helping their neighbors without being asked. These stories of love can be found when people value each other, want to share, and make their community a better place.

As I reflect on the question, the one person who stands out in my life is my mother. Like all of us, she wasn’t perfect, but she did her best with what she had. I inherited my love of reading from her. With Dad working outside the community, she didn’t have much of an opportunity, nor the leisure time to relax and read because of raising a large family. But she did read. I was always surrounded by books that she borrowed from the library for all of us. So much so that by the time I had reached grade five, she often remarked the I had read all the books in the children’s section. The seed that was planted so long ago to write a book is now bearing fruit. I am enjoying the experience very much.

What was her claim to fame? She loved and gave of herself to her husband and eight children. Both she and Dad supported us in whatever we set out to accomplish. A very strong woman, she was the rock in our stormy seas and kept us going with faith in her God and herself. She taught us by her example to care for each other and help others in need. She leaves behind a legacy of love for all of us.

Who are your heroes or heroines?

If you wish to learn more about relationships, keep in touch because more will be written on the subject. Quest for Happiness is slated to be published in the near future.

In the meantime, I welcome any questions or comments you may have.

Until next time,
Bride

Love is Everywhere

airport hugs

One of the very important milestones in my life occurred on Valentines Day. My husband John and I celebrate February 14th every year, not only because of the day itself, but also because it is the anniversary of our first date. I don’t think that we consciously chose that day when we first began dating each other. As I think back fifteen years ago, I remember that it was the first available time in our schedules to get together. That evening, John arrived with a bouquet of flowers, and then he took me out to dinner and a movie. It was a very romantic and memorable night for me.

As I reflect upon what Valentines Day means to me, I am also reminded that I often see expressions of love in what may be considered the unlikeliest of places. One place in particular where I see that is at airport arrival areas. I always notice the large crowd of families, friends, acquaintances, and business associates who patiently wait for the deplaning passengers. As the passengers arrive and I see people embracing one another, shaking each other’s hands, or running to greet each other, it strikes me time and time again that all of these gestures – right down to someone taking the time out of their day to wait for someone to arrive – are all, in fact, expressions of love. It’s not something that we hear about on the evening news or read about in the papers the next day.

So, in keeping with that thought, I often wonder what is really behind all this glitz and glitter of Valentines Day. Are we not trying to say that love relationships are important in our lives? If it is, then how do we celebrate that?

It would seem that by assigning one particular day in February to such an important foundation of our life, something seems amiss. In the reality of our world, what makes the news is not love but war, hatred, violence, and the doom and gloom of today’s economic challenges. The media creates and maintains the frenzy, and we, as humans, are spellbound.

In spite of the mass hysteria, one outstanding thing that still remains is that human beings have one thing in common with each other. Everyone has the ability, as well as the desire, to love and be loved.

When life begins, we assume that it is created because two people love one another. Is it not embedded in our DNA to move towards another human being in love? Do not each of us crave to be loved for who we are, not for how we look or how much money we have?

Who is important in your life? How do you show your love? Is it shown through service and caring for another person every day whether you feel like it or not? Do you speak your love daily to the ones you hold dear? Do you forgive each other when feelings are hurt? Do you turn to each other in good times and in bad?

When you think about love, you may immediately conjure up images of young, married couples. But love is about so much more than that. It’s about the son who is now caring for his elderly father who has dementia or it can be about the single mom with an autistic young daughter. It’s about the friend that you’ve lost touch with, who still greets your phone call with an enthusiastic hello and picks up where both of you left off years ago as if you’ve never missed a beat. It’s about the volunteer who brings a hot meal and a smiling face to an elderly shut in. It’s about your next door neighbor who shovels your driveway after a big storm because he knows you have a bad back. Sometimes, love is about the hard choices that you have to make especially when reality sets in and no one is thoughtful enough to remember you with a gift on Valentine’s Day. Love can be found where there is service and heartfelt devotion.

Can we really survive without love? Just think about that for a moment. What comes to mind when you do? For me, I think that just as food is necessary for the body, love is essential also. Remember to feed both body and soul by getting and giving at least three hearty hugs a day and telling an important person in your life how you feel. If you also take the time to look around and notice, you will also see that love really IS everywhere.

Until next time, I wish you love not only on Valentines Day but on every day of the year.

Bride

One Resolution for 2009

Qigong #3
Originally uploaded by нσвσ

It seems that everywhere I turn, someone is talking about making resolutions for this year. I have been struggling with what I want to do for 2009. Rather than make a resolution in the so called usual way, I have decided that I want to clarify my goals begun last year.

In my last entry, I listed three things that could be done. Reflecting on last year’s successes was my first suggestion. One goal that I had set for myself last September was to exercise daily for thirty- forty minutes to improve my health, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. To do this I started planning each night when I would exercise the next day. I wanted to be able to journal that I achieved 100% success each month. You might say that this is an impossible goal to accomplish. Yet I have reached over 90% of my goal and am hoping that I will reach 100% in the near future. I also realize that I have to maintain that goal every month. My biggest insight is that dreaming big helps me reach for my highest potential. I count my successes, not my failures. It seems easier to remember the negatives and not the positives. When it comes to my exercise goals, I have sometimes found it to be somewhat challenging when I travel because I have to find space where I can exercise. I have learned to be very imaginative about this.

Over the past ten years, I have been taking classes in Chow QiGong meditative exercises based on ancient Chinese healing practices. They consist of one grounding exercise, four warm ups and the Precious Eight exercises. Qi means breath and Gong means work. The focus is on breathing deeply, in and out, as I slowly and meditatively complete the exercises. Each one works a different part of the body. For example, the neck rotation helps release any stiffness or stress I have. If I have a headache, I use this exercise to ease any blocked energy in my neck or forehead. No pills for me! It works every time.

I find that I feel very creative after I finish these exercises. I feel grounded in my life, and my health is improved. I am relaxed but energized to meet each day. Because I feel better physically, I am happy doing my usual daily activities with my family and friends. I feel connected to myself, to my Divine Source and to the universe.

In similar fashion, you can reflect on your success in the past year. Were you happy working on that project? Was it making your life better by building up your self confidence in areas of work or relationships? How does it make you feel? Do you want to continue it or do something new?

You may answer that you were not successful last year. You tried any number of things and you feel discouraged. Can you identify what is making you unhappy? Are you willing to name it, think about it and take action to change it? If you would like to know where to start in terms of taking the necessary action, and making the necessary changes you need to live a more fulfilling life, then you may be interested in reading my book, Quest for Happiness. It gives you a practical three step approach to achieving happiness in your life with a special focus on enriching your significant relationships. Feel free to give a comment in this blog sharing your insights and reflections.

I wish you a Peaceful and Happy 2009.

Until next time,

Bride