Gratitude and Joy

" Arrange whatever pieces come your way."

~Virginia Woolfe

As the curtain comes down on this year of 2010, I stop to ponder the major events that have had an influence on my life this year. Some I know have brought joy to my life and I am grateful for those. Even the so called ‘bad things’ have a silver lining to them. I learn from them, too, and am grateful.

Three amazing women who played a significant role in my life have taken another step in their journey. My mother-in-law, Maggie, at the age of one hundred and four left us in April; my sister’s mother-in-law, Annie, in her nineties, died of cancer in July. In the same week, my cousin, Mary (also in her nineties) died peacefully.

When I reflect on their life experiences and how they moved in and out of my life, I am amazed at their accomplishments, lived out in gentleness and strength. Each in her own quiet way loved and cared for their families and for those whom they met along the way.

I remember Maggie for her love of dancing and music. Her stories of growing up in the Codroy Valley, (which is the picture I've chosen above) a beautiful scenic community in the western section of Newfoundland, kept me enthralled. Her sense of humor kept me laughing more than once.

I experienced Annie’s warm hospitality and caring concern whenever I visited her. Her knack for baking that special chocolate cake for a birthday was well known; only her children knew her secret ingredient! Every family gathering saw her bring one of her baking specialties for the occasion.

My fondest memories of Mary go back to my study days at university. Her home was always open to welcome everyone. My friends and I spent weekends relaxing after a hard week of studying. Her generosity and interest in our lives are well remembered and loved.

I am deeply grateful for their presence in my life. I mourn that I can’t see or touch them but they are with me in another way, in a spiritual sphere.

Another reason for gratitude is the recent addition to our family in June of my grandnephew, Connor. He and Elissa, my grandniece, give great joy to our family. Watching them take their first steps, talk and even sing gives me a sense of wonder. As their little personalities develop, I am amazed at the beauty of these little human beings. My heart is filled with happiness and love.

As Rainer Maria Rilke, author and poet, said “This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love: the more they give, the more they possess.”

My deepest joy in life is the love that I experience from my family and friends. The more I love, the more I receive. There are no limits to love. What a powerful healing force that is! Miracles do happen. I am deeply grateful!

This love does not eliminate the heartache and sorrow or pain I experience. It often requires patience and acceptance on my part. I am the creator of my life. I can decide how I respond to these events. As Virginia Woolfe suggested, I can arrange the pieces of my life in the way I see fit. Above all, I realize that love will enable me to move through the experience and emerge triumphantly in joy.

As you reflect on these closing days of the year,

- What are your thoughts and feelings?

- What memories do you cherish?

- What joys are you thankful for?

- What are your hopes and dreams for the New Year?

As I look forward to the New Year, I am hoping that you experience love, count your joys and be thankful.

Please feel free to comment and share some of your answers to the questions I’ve asked.

Happy New Year!

Fondly,

Bride

Letting Go

Letting Go

The red, gold and orange leaves on the trees

Glistening in the sun

As I meander down the lane,

I stop

To watch them, twirling, gently falling to the ground.

I am amazed at the care Nature takes.

Would that I could take a lesson from her knowing and silent ways!

Yet red Autumn shouts this loud and clear to me;

Let go! Let go!

How I long for Summer’s rainbow to continue

But Nature gently calls me, pulls me

To be aware of the rhythms of life and death, joy and heartache, noticing How the green seeds of Spring burst forth into Autumn’s glorious harvest.

The abundance of Autumn nourishes me

As I notice the subtle signs of Winter

The trees, snow-covered, yet strong and silent

A hint of green

Life within!

What have I seeded that is now bearing fruit?

What am I harvesting?

Is it the reality that life and death flow into each other?

Like the waves of the ocean, rising and falling, mesmerizing in its motion

Inviting me onward in my quest for happiness

Nature’s changing seasons mirror the rhythms in my life

Moving upward, forward on my journey to

Bountiful Energy

Celebrating Freedom and Joy

Embracing Life!

Just recently, I spent a few days in the country. That beautiful autumn day inspired me to write this poem. With our camera and two puppies, I strolled along a salmon river to enjoy the sunshine on the trees.

All of us can identify with the changing seasons. Sometimes, however, it takes us a long time to appreciate the changes that catapult in our lives. Some we see as good while others we wonder at the reason for it. Just as the deciduous trees let go of their leaves this time of year, so we too must say, “Goodbye” to some things and maybe some person in our lives. Or maybe we have to take a different road then the one we’re travelling on.

All of us are on a journey, our quest for happiness. Think of millions of TV ads showing the many ways they tell us we can find happiness. Buy this product, drive this type of vehicle or own this yacht.

When it comes down to the crunch, we take a lot for granted until we are deprived of it. If we lose our home in a flood or a fire, it makes us assess what really counts in our lives. And then we realize that our significant relationships and how we communicate with the people we are in them with are of paramount importance to us.

Watch TV and it becomes obvious that the conflict in the world is all around the issue of relationships. Most of the stress in our lives arises because of our interaction with others, be it at home or at work. We can often voice what we need to do to take care of ourselves but doing it is another thing. The old saying that ‘you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink’ is so true. When we apply it to ourselves, we stop at one point because we don’t want to change even though we know it is good for us. Letting go takes courage and time and attention.

As I reflect on this autumn season, I realize that change is inevitable, sometimes painful and often very necessary. Like the trees that lose their leaves, I too must accept a new way of life so that after the winter, spring can arise in my heart.


During this time, such deep questions come to mind as:
- What do I value?
- What can I do without?
- What am I forced to do without?
- What can I do without in order to embrace something new and exciting?

Sometimes it means letting go of the need to be right all the time. Just this time, give the other person the freedom to choose what you think is not the right thing. It could be right for them.

Another thing that works for me is letting of the negative feelings about my self and replacing it with affirmations. I want to try something new but I’m afraid of failure so I don’t try it. The affirmation could be, “I am gifted and capable of success.”

As you can see, in letting go, I plant the seeds of new life, excitement and joy. In so doing, I release past negativity and create an exciting life. With change comes transformation. I am an enthusiastic person filled with love and happiness.

Autumn is a great time for reflection. As my poem says, let us move forward on our journey to

Bountiful Energy
Celebrating Freedom and Joy
Embracing Life!

Until the next time, observe Nature to notice how she teaches us about life!

Bride

Self Awareness

In my book, Quest for Happiness Handling Difficult Relationships Using the FTA Approach, one of the underlying themes is self awareness. Too often in our world today, we rush around in a frenzy. We often fail to take the time to stop and become aware of what’s happening in our lives – especially our inner lives. We may feel a twinge of something physical, such as a tightness in our gut or a pain in the neck. Sometimes, however, we fail to notice a warning sign until it becomes a full blown physical condition. Then we may question, “What is giving me a pain in the neck?” Our body then forces us to stop and listen.

1. Self awareness brings a measure of inner peace and fulfillment.

In my own experience, I have learned that if I listen immediately to my physical body (that neck pain, for instance) I become aware of what is happening emotionally. Then I can take time to ask the question and reflect on what I need to do to take care of the challenge arising in my life.

Ordinarily, I would call it a problem but I have since learned that I like the idea of challenge better. It’s more positive in tone than problem. I feel that with a challenge, I am energized to seek a way to change my present situation. For me it’s a paradigm shift in attitude.

In reflecting on this challenge, I contemplate the changes needed. I have to keep working at it until the strange uneasy feeling eases to experience that inner peace and fulfillment.

Try this way of looking at things: Find the means to make a positive change in your life. This is one way to inner peace and fulfillment – and joy, as well.

2. Self awareness will deepen your personal relationships, especially the personal relationship you have with yourself. Begin there.

Once you realize the importance of creating a loving relationship with yourself, you will know its value, first, in your life and then in the life of your loved ones.

As you know, you must first love yourself before you can love others. You must value you as a loving, caring, worthwhile being in your own eyes before you can really value anyone else. Open your eyes to see the positive – not the negative. Too often we focus on the negative aspects of our body, personality, intelligence or status in life. Being gentle with our mis-takes will make us compassionate when others do things that hurt us. Notice that with the word mis-take, when you hyphenate it, it means that you can try it again. Don’t view it as a failure but rather as an opportunity to do it over.

If you find that you are doing much self criticizing, please read Chapter Three, Building Self Confidence of my book. It will give you ways to turn your self criticism to self loving. Examples of self affirmations are given to help you do this. When loving yourself becomes a habit, you can transfer these positive attitudes to the significant others in your life.

3. Self awareness will attune you to the reasons why you do the things you do. It will wake you up!

Oftentimes, the underlying reason why we react rather than respond to a situation is fear. I touched briefly on this emotion in my book, Chapter Four, Emotions: Negative and Positive. Have you noticed how fear and bodily reactions are interrelated? I ask ten questions related to fear and its effects on the body. Check these out to see if you can identify with them. Answer them to help you in your growth process.

Another book that you might find helpful is Susan Jeffers’ Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway. This book was a great inspiration to me when I had reached a crossroads in my life. I realized that I viewed the world as a scary and hostile place. It was very fearful for me to move out of a comfortable area in my life to an unknown world.

In my counseling career, the theme of fear has often emerged not only with people in every walk of life but also with people of every age. In one sense, it is comforting to know that you are not alone. Facing the fear and exploring why you are afraid of moving ahead in your life is a risky business. Here, however, is another challenge to energize you to action.

Take the time to eke out the reasons for the fear in your life. Be patient and if necessary, find a trusted friend to journey with you- someone who will listen to your fears but not discount them. Acknowledgement of these fears often helps to dissipate what seems to be overwhelming and makes them small and insignificant by comparison. Then you can feel in control and deal with the situation.

Remember change takes place slowly. Just as the birthing of the butterfly from its cocoon is a gradual process, our self awareness and growth is often hidden and very quiet.

As I sit here at the cottage gazing out at the lush green grass and trees swaying in the breeze after a torrential rain, I am reminded how Nature reveals how she cares for the birds, trees and other beautiful creatures of the universe. You and I could follow her example by focusing on how we can become more loving in our lives. This will help eliminate the fears that sometimes control us. Self awareness is one way to tap into our personal power and live each day with a greater sense of peace and fulfillment.

Walt Whitman’s poem, Leaves of Grass, provides us with the inspiration to seek love and dissolve our fears if we are willing to do what he suggests:

I exist as I am, that is enough.

If no other in the world be aware I sit content,

And if each and all be aware I sit content.,/br>
One world is aware, and by far the largest to me,

and that is myself.

And whether I come to my own today or in ten

thousand or ten million years,

I can cheerfully take it now, or with equal cheerfulness,

I can wait.


Continue your journey to self awareness and be at peace.

Until next time,

Bride

The Breath of Life

Breathing comes natural to us; we hardly think about it as we go about our daily routines. Yet it is our most precious gift that we have until we die and it is freely given us.

During this past week, along the eastern shore of North America, people have had difficulty breathing because of the high temperatures. The extreme heat is wreaking havoc especially on the very young and the elderly. The high use of air conditioners is taxing the hydro system. It actually failed, causing problems for over 175,000 people. The use of fans provides very little relief, although it gives the illusion of providing some help.

In Europe, especially Spain, the extremely high temperatures are causing problems, as well. Other parts of Asia are experiencing the same thing. People with asthmatic conditions and other health related issues are being advised to stay indoors.

I love summer but I wouldn’t wish to experience the high temperatures that these people have to endure at this time. The summers I want to experience would give me the opportunity to spend time outdoors having fun with my puppies and family.

It’s my favorite time to spend in the country, listening and watching the birds and chipmunks while enjoying the refreshing breeze blowing through the trees. More importantly, for me, is spending time near the ocean. I love walking along the beach, listening to the swish of the waves and the call of the seagulls. Combine that with sharing summer fun with friends and family! That is my idea of being healthy! I don’t have to worry about breathing problems due to extremely high temperatures.

How fortunate I am!

In my last blog entry, I reflected on the question: How healthy are you? In this entry I want you to focus your breath. Become aware of what is happening to you when you breathe. Are you in good physical health? Or are you prone to coughs and colds depending on the season? Are you a smoker?

When you get upset over a situation, what happens to your breathing? Oftentimes, people will actually hold their breath and not realize it. Only when their stress is lightened do they begin breathing again. The best remedy, of course, is to become aware that you are not breathing and deep breathe immediately to relieve the stress in the situation. This will take practice.

When you are focusing on your breath, it is important that you have correct posture, as well. Keep the body straight and imagine a silver thread joining the universe to the top of your head. Picture that thread along your backbone, leaving the body through the tailbone and joining the earth. Then breathe in through your nose and breathe out through your slightly opened mouth. It’s so soft that you were you to have a lighted candle in front of you, you would not disturb the flame.

When you take time to breathe deeply and focus on your breath and posture, there are many benefits. Combine this technique with exercise and a healthy diet to help
1. relieve stress
2. increase your energy level
3. relieve fatigue and even pain
4. delay the aging process
5. maintain and build a healthy body

Having a positive mental attitude and a sense of humor will augment the benefits. Combining those with a balanced life style helps tremendously. Spending quality time with your family and friends, as well as yourself, enjoying time communing with nature and listening to your inner self are all ways to creating the life you want to achieve.

In your Quest for Happiness, what do you value? Clean air and environment? A world that promotes peace, prosperity and happiness for all?

Focus on your breathing and take on one thing at a time. Climbing a mountain begins with taking that first step. You can achieve your quest for happiness.

Remember my CD of Relaxation Techniques will help you as part of this Quest.

Until next time, enjoy building up a healthy life for you and your loved ones, and if you live in one of those areas that are experiencing high temperatures right now, stay cool…and remember to breathe.

Bride

How Healthy Are You?

How Healthy Are You?

"Good health is having no fatigue, having a good appetite, going to sleep and awakening easily, having a good memory, humor, having precision in thought and action, and being honest, humble, grateful and loving. How healthy are you?" ~Louise Hay, Hearts Thoughts, p. 120

When I came across this saying, it set me thinking about my own health. I am hoping that you, in turn, will stop and think about yours. I think it is a wonderful template to follow in life! All of us, at one time or another, have experienced most of these. I hope that we will continue to experience them no matter how young or old we are. As you know, healthy living is a topic on everyone’s mind these days. The general consensus is that if we eat balanced meals and exercise, we will experience health.

Too often in our world today, the opposite happens and dis-ease (Louise’s word) creeps in to upset that equanimity. She writes on p.112 that “If we don’t make internal changes, the dis-ease comes back or we create another dis-ease.” Note how she focuses on the notions that when we are healthy, we are at ease. When we are unhealthy, we experience dis-ease.

I like her point of view. When I am at ease with myself, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically, my life feels rich, happy and contented.

However, cancer and other dis-eases are constantly in the news. How much time is spent talking about cures for these dis-eases? Fight to cure them! It would seem better to begin experiencing all these attributes most of the time by focusing on the positive rather than the negative!

How can we do that?

In my Chow Qigong classes, I am taught to draw in the energy of the universe and use it for healing. In a previous entry, I discussed how I breathe deeply and fill every cell with universal energy. This creates a feeling of well being. I feel grounded and my health is improved.

Now that summer is here in the northern hemisphere, I am looking to experience hot lazy days. This is a time for me to spend as much time outdoors as possible, soaking up the sun (with lots of sun block on, or course!) It’s my favorite time to spend in the country, listening and watching the birds and chipmunks while enjoying the refreshing breeze blowing through the trees. More importantly, for me, is spending time near the ocean. I love walking along the beach, listening to the swish of the waves and the call of the seagulls. Combine that with sharing summer fun with friends and family! This is one way that I love to spend my time and it keeps me healthy!

What are the keys to attain this life style Louise advocates? I would suggest that we focus on two:

1. Positive attitude
2. Intuition and feelings

Positive Attitude

One of the key concepts in Chow Qigong is attaining a positive mental and emotional attitude. What you think about is what you create in your life, according to the Law of Attraction. Have you heard that before? This means that if you focus on dis-ease, you bring illness to your life. It makes sense then to think about being healthy and staying that way.

However, it is not as easy to do and be as it sounds. Some people have a hard time seeing the positive in anything they do. They think of how things can go wrong and point it out to us when things do go wrong.

To move from negative thinking to positive thinking takes time and attention. There is a process involved in making such a major change in your outlook. Any time that you notice you are expressing something negative, stop and review what you are thinking or have already said. If you can pretend that your mind is like a tape recorder, then you can rewind the tape and say something positive. You will find that you feel better about yourself and the situation.

I would recommend that you invite someone to journey with you, a person you trust and one you consider wise in your estimation. That person can help you become aware of what you are saying and doing. Together you can chart the progress in this area. You can make it a fun experience. Enjoy yourself as much as you can.

Notice that the energy is heightened when you focus on the positive. That energy can build if you yourself become aware of your breathing and the bodily feeling of ease that arises.

Intuition and Feelings

This is also related to internal changes in that one must become aware of one’s inner feelings. Some people, because of the buzz of activity in their lives, don’t take the time to see what’s happening within. They often use other people’s ideas and standards instead of figuring out what they themselves need to do.

To give an example, someone says something to you that upsets you. When you take the time to admit that you are feeling hurt and upset because of the comment made, you can do several things. Pretend it never happened; become very angry and react negatively or step back and question what is really happening here.

When you have a good sense of yourself you can create the atmosphere whereby you can assess what happened and respond, not react, to the situation. You are aware of the feelings that arise and ponder what the best response would be.

This may not seem to relate to the question of “How healthy are you?” but it does. Health does not just mean lack of dis-ease in a body. If feelings are not considered in every day life, they can very often cause serious illness of the physical body. Denying your feelings is denying a large part of your life.

Chow Qigong advocates a balance of the mental, emotional, physical and spiritual aspects of your life. It’s similar to the fact that your body functions as a whole. Have you ever had a toothache? Didn’t your whole body feel miserable? Even if you cut your finger, it unbalances the remainder of your system. Likewise this is also true of all the different aspects of your life.

Judge yourself as to what energizes you. How healthy are you? Where do you go to get that energy?

When I began this essay, I wanted you to know that I love nature and want to be at one with all creation, because I am part of that creation and I am energized by it. We belong together!

May you too be energized as we enjoy our summer months in the northern hemisphere! Have fun and laugh often! There is healing energy in both!

I invite you to visit my website at http://harborofhappiness.com where you can contact me about receiving a Free Relaxation Technique, which can also help you on your journey of healing and energy.

Until the next time,
Bride

A Tribute to a Centenarian

Margaret Alice Doyle nee Gale (1905-2010)


On April 28, 2010, Margaret Alice Doyle-Gale in her 105th year “slipped the surly bonds of earth… to touch the Face of God” (John Gillespie Magee, Jr.,) joining her husband, Paul and other relatives in the heavenly realm. Probably a more appropriate quote is by Cuthbert Hicks who wrote, “for I have danced the streets of heaven and touched the face of God.”

Those who knew Aunt Maggie knew that she loved to dance. She kept telling everyone that she retired officially from dancing at the age of 84! I often watched her do a little jig when her type of music was played. On her 104th birthday, she danced a few steps with a smile on her face for all who came to help her celebrate in her own home.

Independent and proud, she loved doing her own housework, buying her groceries, hanging out her washing and doing her own gardening. This continued until she turned 99. Because of failing eyesight, she reluctantly consented to having help during the day. She, however, still insisted on doing her laundry, making her bed and getting a cup of tea for all who entered her home.

Unfortunately because of a fall, she spent the last four months of her life in the hospital. There she slowly faded until her demise the last week of April. An amazing woman has left our midst!

Born in the year 1905 the youngest of ten children in Millville, The Codroy Valley, Newfoundland, Maggie Alice, as she was known, was a witness to so many historic changes in her life and this world she lived in. The amenities she had in her home in 2010 could never have been imagined at the beginning of her life. The advances in technology and transportation, for example, must have been overwhelming for her!

As a young woman, when she wanted to go dancing, she walked from Millville to Upper Ferry, (about five miles) danced all night and then walked home. She often boasted of doing such a thing. There was no such thing as taking a ride in a car to get her there and back. When she told me this story, I didn’t think to ask her why she didn’t take the horse and buggy. It seemed to be the custom at the time for she and her friends to go “shanks mare.”(By foot!)

After she married her husband Paul and they started their family, she didn’t work with the household conveniences we have today. Her laundry was done in a tub with a glass wash board. She learned how to cook and bake on a stove fuelled by wood. There weren’t any dishwashers or microwaves at that time! Rearing twelve children, keeping house and managing a little store as a younger woman in St. Andrews kept her quite busy. Back then, it was common for the boys to help their father with the outdoor chores while the girls learned how to keep house and cook. They were taught well by their mother.

It wasn’t all work and duty. The family gathered round the organ played by their mother while they joined with their father to sing Irish and Newfoundland songs. Paul’s favourite was “Danny Boy.” “When You and I Were Young, Maggie” was her favourite because he sang it to her. In later years, it was often requested for her on her birthday.

In 1954, the family left St. Andrew’s and moved to Stephenville. But Maggie was not one to forget her roots! Besides her many relatives, she also had many friends and often returned to visit. When Paul died of a heart attack at the age of 65, she buried him at the feet of his parents in St. Andrews. The family knew her place would be beside him when her turn came, and she was gently laid to rest in her beloved Codroy Valley!

She leaves behind a great legacy, that of 52 grandchildren, 74 great grandchildren and 9 great-great grandchildren. While 9 of her children live in Newfoundland, one resides in Ontario and their children and grandchildren are scattered throughout varied parts of Canada and the United States of America.

She came into my life when I married her son John fifteen years ago. She shared many of her stories about growing up in the Codroy Valley and what it was like rearing a family with me. She often told many funny stories about Paul, who kept her laughing most of the time. Like most families, they experienced hard times and sad times as well. She buried two of her daughters who died of cancer as young mothers leaving behind young families. Maggie also lost one child in a miscarriage, so she knew what it was to suffer grief and sadness.

Like all of us, she was human and had her faults and foibles. I prefer, however; to remember her as someone who was fun to be with. As it grew more evident that she needed more care as she got older, the family took turns staying overnight with her. She had her nightly rituals. Sometimes she had a habit of getting up in the middle of the night thinking that it was early morning. It became my job when it was our turn to stay with her to remind her to wait until we called her for breakfast.

“If I find you wandering around in the night, I’ll beat you with a feather!” I would remark. She would laugh, and after I made sure she had her rosary beads, she’d settle down for the night. This continued until she had her accident. It then became our routine to visit the hospital on a regular basis especially during meal time.

I have many happy memories of her during that time. Some are quite funny! Her short term memory had started to deteriorate prior to her fall. She would often remark about not remembering something from her past. The longer her stay in the hospital, the more noticeable it became that her memory was failing her. She frequently thought she was living back at her home in the Valley. One night, as John was saying good night to her, she asked him if he were going straight home. When he said he was, she told him, “Take the horse.” Other examples showed that her heart and mind were back there. It was a blessing that she died peacefully and quietly at 10:30 pm on April 28th.

Maggie Alice wasn’t famous in the way that the world considers it! She was a strong woman who showed me what a life of commitment and duty entailed. Living more than 100 years is quite a feat! My life has been gifted because of her presence! I will long remember her influence - especially her love of music and dancing! May she dance forever in the streets of heaven!

May you in turn take time to appreciate the giftedness of your life!

Until the next time!

Bride

Stress Relievers: Looking After Yourself!

Over the past six months, I have been giving seminars focusing on ways to help people handle effectively the stresses in their personal and professional lives. Many of them are care givers and teach their clients how to build a happy and contented life. Yet they themselves voice that they are not following what they advocate. In other words, it’s easier said than done.

This seems to be the case in all of our lives. Where ever we are, stress certainly plays a role in today’s society. Now there are normal stresses of course! I am focusing on the kind that we can eliminate to make our daily lives richer and fuller.

What have you done in the past to relieve this type of stress? We are told that within each of us there is a solution to a problem we are facing. Sometimes it just means becoming aware of what we already know. We may even overlook it because it is so familiar to us.

Let’s take a look at the Stop, Look and Listen technique that we automatically use when crossing the street.

STOP
1. First of all, set aside some time to think about what you need to do to lower your stress level. You may say that you have all the time in the world to do that and you just can't think. Then just be…
Look at a rose or think of a favorite scene or happy memory.

2. Next, reflect on your present situation to see what you can or cannot change. Write down what is bothering you the most and causing the stress. When you do this, you may realize that you manage your situation very well because of the support you have. Just doing that helps you feel better.

3. Thirdly, name the feelings that arise as a result of your situation. If the feelings of anger, helplessness and hopelessness are overwhelming, you may need to talk to someone who can help you sort through them. To help you get past that stumbling block, calling a friend or perhaps listening to a calming CD may help. You may find that my CD called Quest for Happiness- Relaxation Techniques may be helpful to you at this time. There are twelve separate relaxation techniques on the CD itself, and it is designed specifically with the intention to help people like you alleviate some of the stresses you may be feeling.

LOOK
4. Think of a past situation where you were successful in a stressful situation? What worked for you? Could you use the same techniques again or would you look for new ones? Keep it simple.

LISTEN
5. Listen to your inner being - your intuition, to make life beautiful for you. Looking after yourself could be as simple as deciding to walk each day for thirty minutes, join a fitness club, a swimming class or a yoga class. Try something new to take care of your physical well being.

6. Plan daily to spend some time listening to a relaxing tape or reading something inspirational. You can choose to share that time and inspiration with a family member or friend. Laugh daily. This will help your emotional health.

7. List the talents you have. Are you interested in painting, photography or crafts? Would you like to join a book club, or a quilting bee? What gives you joy?

8. Count your daily successes and the gifts in your life. Speak of them to your family and friends.

What I have outlined for you in this section is my FTA Approach; Feel, Think and Act. My book, Quest for Happiness Handling Difficult Relationships Using the FTA Approach gives you greater detail and strategies to use this approach in handling the stresses in your personal and professional life. While it focuses on difficult relationships, the method can be applied to any other aspect of your life. In this case, working on relieving the stresses you are undergoing.

Remember that there are many ways to create a stress free lifestyle. I hope my suggestions are a helpful. In your healing, be creative and look after yourself! You are worth it!

Until the next time, assess your situation and give yourself permission to care for yourself in a healthy and happy way! Have fun doing it!

Bride

Miracles of Haiti

Miracles do happen. As I was pondering earlier last month what this New Year would bring, I didn’t have far to look. The news on the radio, TV, and the internet since January 12th has been filled with the aftermath of the earthquake in Haiti. People’s eyes and ears are glued to the TV to see and hear the latest about this tragedy.

Response in aid worldwide has been phenomenal; tragedy certainly brings out the compassion and caring in people irrespective of color, race, creed or language. We are united in the one goal to help these people. Telethons and benefit concerts from the tiniest community to major cities with celebrity entertainment are being held all over the world. Relief money is pouring in with everyone’s hope that it will relieve the suffering and pain of every island inhabitant. What truly amazes me are the stories of miracles that are happening on this small island!

How does one child survive while his mother is crushed? On January 20th, the rescue teams pulled out a 5 year old boy under the debris of his home – eight days without food or water! Two women rescued – a 25 year old from under the ruins of a supermarket and a 70 year old from under the rubble of a cathedral in Port au Prince. Under a home in Jacmel, a 3 year old is found alive among the debris, surviving without food for more than a week! These are the miracle stories.

More stories of survival will be become known as the rebuilding begins. Also, tales of heroic acts performed by neighbors or relatives who with little or nothing dig out those under buildings and care for the survivors until help arrives. These too are miracles.

It seems that someone knows somebody or has a relative who lives in Haiti. Because of this the anxiety, grief and stress is also experienced world wide as it becomes known that under the rubble so many people are trapped and now presumed dead. These people need to be cared for and given hope, often where hope cannot be found. Let’s hope that there are miracle workers there to help these people.

Stories, too, of heroic acts will come to light as the military, Doctors Without Borders, and the countless volunteers move in to bring hope and comfort to those in desperate distress. Many unsung heroes will do what is needed to bring about health to those seriously ill and the necessities of life to others.

As we sit and watch the daily events happening in Haiti, what can we do? What miracles can we perform?

My conscious level has been raised to the extent that I am thankful for the many good things and people in my life. To be grateful when I turn on the tap for clean water to drink and use for my daily needs. To look around and see the many things that I take for granted daily such as clean air, sufficient food and accommodation. To examine my way of living and make choices that will benefit both the environment and the community of people. To help those in need and promote good causes such as the Red Cross. To volunteer in ways that will promote hope and peace in our world.

Miracles do happen. What miracles can you perform? Perhaps you are in the throes of a difficult relationship wishing to find that happiness you, your partner, colleague, or friend so desperately desire. I would love to help you discover that you can have that miracle in your life. I hope you can achieve that through my book, Quest for Happiness Handling Difficult Relationships Using the FTA Approach and accompanying CD of Relaxation Techniques.

Until the next time, be grateful and help where you can – including yourself.

Bride