Self Awareness

In my book, Quest for Happiness Handling Difficult Relationships Using the FTA Approach, one of the underlying themes is self awareness. Too often in our world today, we rush around in a frenzy. We often fail to take the time to stop and become aware of what’s happening in our lives – especially our inner lives. We may feel a twinge of something physical, such as a tightness in our gut or a pain in the neck. Sometimes, however, we fail to notice a warning sign until it becomes a full blown physical condition. Then we may question, “What is giving me a pain in the neck?” Our body then forces us to stop and listen.

1. Self awareness brings a measure of inner peace and fulfillment.

In my own experience, I have learned that if I listen immediately to my physical body (that neck pain, for instance) I become aware of what is happening emotionally. Then I can take time to ask the question and reflect on what I need to do to take care of the challenge arising in my life.

Ordinarily, I would call it a problem but I have since learned that I like the idea of challenge better. It’s more positive in tone than problem. I feel that with a challenge, I am energized to seek a way to change my present situation. For me it’s a paradigm shift in attitude.

In reflecting on this challenge, I contemplate the changes needed. I have to keep working at it until the strange uneasy feeling eases to experience that inner peace and fulfillment.

Try this way of looking at things: Find the means to make a positive change in your life. This is one way to inner peace and fulfillment – and joy, as well.

2. Self awareness will deepen your personal relationships, especially the personal relationship you have with yourself. Begin there.

Once you realize the importance of creating a loving relationship with yourself, you will know its value, first, in your life and then in the life of your loved ones.

As you know, you must first love yourself before you can love others. You must value you as a loving, caring, worthwhile being in your own eyes before you can really value anyone else. Open your eyes to see the positive – not the negative. Too often we focus on the negative aspects of our body, personality, intelligence or status in life. Being gentle with our mis-takes will make us compassionate when others do things that hurt us. Notice that with the word mis-take, when you hyphenate it, it means that you can try it again. Don’t view it as a failure but rather as an opportunity to do it over.

If you find that you are doing much self criticizing, please read Chapter Three, Building Self Confidence of my book. It will give you ways to turn your self criticism to self loving. Examples of self affirmations are given to help you do this. When loving yourself becomes a habit, you can transfer these positive attitudes to the significant others in your life.

3. Self awareness will attune you to the reasons why you do the things you do. It will wake you up!

Oftentimes, the underlying reason why we react rather than respond to a situation is fear. I touched briefly on this emotion in my book, Chapter Four, Emotions: Negative and Positive. Have you noticed how fear and bodily reactions are interrelated? I ask ten questions related to fear and its effects on the body. Check these out to see if you can identify with them. Answer them to help you in your growth process.

Another book that you might find helpful is Susan Jeffers’ Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway. This book was a great inspiration to me when I had reached a crossroads in my life. I realized that I viewed the world as a scary and hostile place. It was very fearful for me to move out of a comfortable area in my life to an unknown world.

In my counseling career, the theme of fear has often emerged not only with people in every walk of life but also with people of every age. In one sense, it is comforting to know that you are not alone. Facing the fear and exploring why you are afraid of moving ahead in your life is a risky business. Here, however, is another challenge to energize you to action.

Take the time to eke out the reasons for the fear in your life. Be patient and if necessary, find a trusted friend to journey with you- someone who will listen to your fears but not discount them. Acknowledgement of these fears often helps to dissipate what seems to be overwhelming and makes them small and insignificant by comparison. Then you can feel in control and deal with the situation.

Remember change takes place slowly. Just as the birthing of the butterfly from its cocoon is a gradual process, our self awareness and growth is often hidden and very quiet.

As I sit here at the cottage gazing out at the lush green grass and trees swaying in the breeze after a torrential rain, I am reminded how Nature reveals how she cares for the birds, trees and other beautiful creatures of the universe. You and I could follow her example by focusing on how we can become more loving in our lives. This will help eliminate the fears that sometimes control us. Self awareness is one way to tap into our personal power and live each day with a greater sense of peace and fulfillment.

Walt Whitman’s poem, Leaves of Grass, provides us with the inspiration to seek love and dissolve our fears if we are willing to do what he suggests:

I exist as I am, that is enough.

If no other in the world be aware I sit content,

And if each and all be aware I sit content.,/br>
One world is aware, and by far the largest to me,

and that is myself.

And whether I come to my own today or in ten

thousand or ten million years,

I can cheerfully take it now, or with equal cheerfulness,

I can wait.


Continue your journey to self awareness and be at peace.

Until next time,

Bride

The Breath of Life

Breathing comes natural to us; we hardly think about it as we go about our daily routines. Yet it is our most precious gift that we have until we die and it is freely given us.

During this past week, along the eastern shore of North America, people have had difficulty breathing because of the high temperatures. The extreme heat is wreaking havoc especially on the very young and the elderly. The high use of air conditioners is taxing the hydro system. It actually failed, causing problems for over 175,000 people. The use of fans provides very little relief, although it gives the illusion of providing some help.

In Europe, especially Spain, the extremely high temperatures are causing problems, as well. Other parts of Asia are experiencing the same thing. People with asthmatic conditions and other health related issues are being advised to stay indoors.

I love summer but I wouldn’t wish to experience the high temperatures that these people have to endure at this time. The summers I want to experience would give me the opportunity to spend time outdoors having fun with my puppies and family.

It’s my favorite time to spend in the country, listening and watching the birds and chipmunks while enjoying the refreshing breeze blowing through the trees. More importantly, for me, is spending time near the ocean. I love walking along the beach, listening to the swish of the waves and the call of the seagulls. Combine that with sharing summer fun with friends and family! That is my idea of being healthy! I don’t have to worry about breathing problems due to extremely high temperatures.

How fortunate I am!

In my last blog entry, I reflected on the question: How healthy are you? In this entry I want you to focus your breath. Become aware of what is happening to you when you breathe. Are you in good physical health? Or are you prone to coughs and colds depending on the season? Are you a smoker?

When you get upset over a situation, what happens to your breathing? Oftentimes, people will actually hold their breath and not realize it. Only when their stress is lightened do they begin breathing again. The best remedy, of course, is to become aware that you are not breathing and deep breathe immediately to relieve the stress in the situation. This will take practice.

When you are focusing on your breath, it is important that you have correct posture, as well. Keep the body straight and imagine a silver thread joining the universe to the top of your head. Picture that thread along your backbone, leaving the body through the tailbone and joining the earth. Then breathe in through your nose and breathe out through your slightly opened mouth. It’s so soft that you were you to have a lighted candle in front of you, you would not disturb the flame.

When you take time to breathe deeply and focus on your breath and posture, there are many benefits. Combine this technique with exercise and a healthy diet to help
1. relieve stress
2. increase your energy level
3. relieve fatigue and even pain
4. delay the aging process
5. maintain and build a healthy body

Having a positive mental attitude and a sense of humor will augment the benefits. Combining those with a balanced life style helps tremendously. Spending quality time with your family and friends, as well as yourself, enjoying time communing with nature and listening to your inner self are all ways to creating the life you want to achieve.

In your Quest for Happiness, what do you value? Clean air and environment? A world that promotes peace, prosperity and happiness for all?

Focus on your breathing and take on one thing at a time. Climbing a mountain begins with taking that first step. You can achieve your quest for happiness.

Remember my CD of Relaxation Techniques will help you as part of this Quest.

Until next time, enjoy building up a healthy life for you and your loved ones, and if you live in one of those areas that are experiencing high temperatures right now, stay cool…and remember to breathe.

Bride