February Blues or February Red?

Deep into winter

Snow upon snow

When will it ever end?

Blah!

YET

Mountains of snow

Diamonds glistening in the sun

Evergreen trees wrapped in white coats

Silent, still

Sparkling white

Peaceful, calm

Beautiful!

Awesome!

Which feeling do you have? A blue or blah one? If it is either one, maybe taking the time to stop and reflect on something good in your life will help change your mood. As you know February 14^th is well known as Valentine’s Day. Maybe this can help you change your color from blue to red!

Check out the stores and notice the array of red on the shelves; red hearts-shaped boxes of chocolates, red balloons and red cards proclaiming love that you can give to your sweetheart, family and friends.

So are you still feeling blue or are you now seeing red? Interestingly enough, when we talk about “seeing red,” it usually suggests that one is angry at something or someone. In my case, I want to promote a totally different atmosphere. In keeping with the theme of love and how we associate it with the color red, I want to focus on the reason behind Valentine’s Day. As you know it is meant to promote the theme of love.

Everyone has his or her own definition of love. Based on family tradition, learning and especially experiencing love or lack of it, we sing and write about it.

Some of the songs we sing:

“Love Makes The World Go Round.”

“Love Me Tender”

“I Will Always Love You”

“Love Is All Around”

“Love Is All We Need”

These songs portray the romantic side, often the infatuation of first love. This is wonderful but if it ends there with just the externals, it will not lead to a much deeper love. The hope is that it will, but experience teaches us that sometimes it doesn’t.

What are the qualities of love?

In my book, Quest for Happiness Handling Difficult Relationships Using the FTA Approach, I discuss trust, caring, respect, good communication, and time for each other as some of those qualities. I would add gratitude as another characteristic.

The foundation for a relationship is trust. Unless that is built in, it will not last. Caring and respect for one another are a close second. Letting the other person be his or her true self and able to express one’s feelings and thoughts is paramount. Being kind is also another quality to foster.

I’ve also devoted a chapter to communication skills in my book. When one partner can ask for what he or she needs in the relationship in a loving way, the response is lovingly returned. Rather than reacting to a situation where blame is often heard, the couple or the parent and child can respect one another’s feelings and respond accordingly. Understanding each others’ needs promotes good communication.

In our busy world today, taking time to be with each other must be scheduled into the day and not just once a week. Parents and children need to plan some precious time to spend with one another in advance, just as the parents have to do it for themselves.

One splendid way is to celebrate not only the usual holiday events, such a Valentine’s but special ones that are known only to the couple or the family itself. It need not be an extravagant event but one that is meaningful for all involved.

As you reflect on your own relationship and the love that’s involved, you can see that it takes work from each of you to build a healthy and happy life.

You can do your part by taking a few minutes to reflect on your own feelings. How are you feeling now? If you were experiencing the Blah feeling, has it changed? If you had colored your world red, then may the energy of love increase as you reflect on your life.

In the second half of my poem, the attitude expressed is one of gratitude and appreciation for the beauty of winter.

May your world be colored with love or the beauty of the whiteness of winter. May you experience the gratitude and peace as you reflect on the gifts in your life!

Until the next time, may love reign in your hearts!

Fondly,

Bride

Inner Awakening

"Becoming more conscious is vital to our sense of well-being and empowers us to fully know ourselves."
~Michael Bernard Beckwith, Spiritual Liberation, p. 93

What will this New Year bring? I asked that questions in my last blog entry, Endings and Beginnings. At that time, I noted that there will be times for rejoicing and times for mourning. At one time or another, everyone on earth has experienced some form of joy or sorrow, peace or turmoil, love or indifference or even hate in their lives. Many times it is in times of turmoil, loss or great sorrow that the person turns inward to ask the age old questions: “What is the purpose of my existence? Why is this happening to me, now?”

Funny, if life is good and wonderful things are occurring, we don’t question why it’s happening. It would seem that only when pain, suffering and misery come our way do we ask the reason why. Do you agree? Do we experience an inner awakening when this happens?

At other times, we ask the same questions because we have the time to do so. As we grow older and take time to ponder how we’ve lived our lives, these questions surface again.

In ancient texts from the Far East, we read how often they speak of balance and cycles of nature when referring to human situations. Such contrasts as summer and winter, spring and fall echo human conditions. We are born and we die, we enjoy or survive our young and middle aging and then grow old. In any event, just as the seasons come and go, so too do things and people move in and out of our lives.

Just taking some time daily to ‘wake up smell the roses’ so to speak will have us become more reflective about our life style. In that quiet time, we can awaken to the realization that certain significant people or things make life meaningful for us.

In some cases, however, we realize otherwise; that our lives have become empty and meaningless. When we awaken to that reality, we then have an opportunity to change our present situation and make it meaningful. Only when it registers with us that when we change our attitude we can change our lives. No one can do that for us. We hold the control in our hands, in our minds and we have no one to blame but ourselves.

Let’s reflect on what it is to blame (even ourselves) for the way we live. Blame shifts the responsibility from ourselves to someone or something outside us. Even when we blame ourselves, it again disconnects us from our inner self. Only when we truly stand on our own two feet and take responsibility for the way we live, in honesty, can we change what needs to be changed.

Sometimes, though, people just trudge along day by day and seek other means to fill this emptiness through various kinds of addictions. Only when they literally fall flat on their faces do they wake up and realize that the time has come to get off that treadmill of destructive behavior.

What does it mean to get in touch with our inner self? Have an inner awakening?

Here are some ways to do this despite having a hectic daily schedule:

1. Assess your daily schedule and note times when you are alone.

2. What do you like to do that gives you peace and inner serenity?

3. Choose one or two that helps you reflect on building a deeper awareness of who you are.

4. Practice daily.

Your next question may be: What what would I suggest?

One easy way to concentrate is to focus on your breathing. Whether you're in your car, riding the elevator or walking the dog, you have amazing opportunities to practice deep breathing and bring a feeling of peace and serenity to your daily activities.

Notice other occasions that give you time to stop and assess what is happening in your life. When you have a block of time, you can read a book that will help you take a deeper look at your inner life, meditate on what inspires you or plan a vacation to enrich your life.

The key is to take care of your self. By so doing, you can build a rich inner life and spread the joy and happiness you feel after learning how special and unique you are as a fully alive human being.

Enjoy your inner journey, ‘to go where no one has gone before.’ If you need a road map, visit my website, http://harborofhappiness.com to learn how to buy my book, Quest for Happiness, the GPS of Relationships.

Please feel free to share your thoughts and feelings.

Until the next time, spread love and peace,

Bride