February Blues or February Red?

Deep into winter

Snow upon snow

When will it ever end?

Blah!

YET

Mountains of snow

Diamonds glistening in the sun

Evergreen trees wrapped in white coats

Silent, still

Sparkling white

Peaceful, calm

Beautiful!

Awesome!

Which feeling do you have? A blue or blah one? If it is either one, maybe taking the time to stop and reflect on something good in your life will help change your mood. As you know February 14^th is well known as Valentine’s Day. Maybe this can help you change your color from blue to red!

Check out the stores and notice the array of red on the shelves; red hearts-shaped boxes of chocolates, red balloons and red cards proclaiming love that you can give to your sweetheart, family and friends.

So are you still feeling blue or are you now seeing red? Interestingly enough, when we talk about “seeing red,” it usually suggests that one is angry at something or someone. In my case, I want to promote a totally different atmosphere. In keeping with the theme of love and how we associate it with the color red, I want to focus on the reason behind Valentine’s Day. As you know it is meant to promote the theme of love.

Everyone has his or her own definition of love. Based on family tradition, learning and especially experiencing love or lack of it, we sing and write about it.

Some of the songs we sing:

“Love Makes The World Go Round.”

“Love Me Tender”

“I Will Always Love You”

“Love Is All Around”

“Love Is All We Need”

These songs portray the romantic side, often the infatuation of first love. This is wonderful but if it ends there with just the externals, it will not lead to a much deeper love. The hope is that it will, but experience teaches us that sometimes it doesn’t.

What are the qualities of love?

In my book, Quest for Happiness Handling Difficult Relationships Using the FTA Approach, I discuss trust, caring, respect, good communication, and time for each other as some of those qualities. I would add gratitude as another characteristic.

The foundation for a relationship is trust. Unless that is built in, it will not last. Caring and respect for one another are a close second. Letting the other person be his or her true self and able to express one’s feelings and thoughts is paramount. Being kind is also another quality to foster.

I’ve also devoted a chapter to communication skills in my book. When one partner can ask for what he or she needs in the relationship in a loving way, the response is lovingly returned. Rather than reacting to a situation where blame is often heard, the couple or the parent and child can respect one another’s feelings and respond accordingly. Understanding each others’ needs promotes good communication.

In our busy world today, taking time to be with each other must be scheduled into the day and not just once a week. Parents and children need to plan some precious time to spend with one another in advance, just as the parents have to do it for themselves.

One splendid way is to celebrate not only the usual holiday events, such a Valentine’s but special ones that are known only to the couple or the family itself. It need not be an extravagant event but one that is meaningful for all involved.

As you reflect on your own relationship and the love that’s involved, you can see that it takes work from each of you to build a healthy and happy life.

You can do your part by taking a few minutes to reflect on your own feelings. How are you feeling now? If you were experiencing the Blah feeling, has it changed? If you had colored your world red, then may the energy of love increase as you reflect on your life.

In the second half of my poem, the attitude expressed is one of gratitude and appreciation for the beauty of winter.

May your world be colored with love or the beauty of the whiteness of winter. May you experience the gratitude and peace as you reflect on the gifts in your life!

Until the next time, may love reign in your hearts!

Fondly,

Bride