One Secret to a Successful Life

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? ~Mary Oliver

Does that question cause you to stop and think? Get you excited? Do you see yourself living a wild and precious life? If not, what is holding you back? Is it fear of the unknown, of what people will say about you?

Let’s explore fear, its causes and consequences. Then I shall reveal the secret to a successful life. Are you tempted to scroll down and find the answer? It is tempting, isn’t it?

Fear is the driving engine of many people in this world.

Unfortunately, this is a reality. Greed is a close second. The only other emotion that can wipe out both is love.

In my blog entry on “Self Awareness” I touched briefly on the effects of fear on our lives. There I noted how it affects the body, mind and spirit. In our bodily system, it is a natural response to a perceived danger, a threat to our well being. Deep inside us is the basic need for safety and security.

While it is a negative emotion, its benefit is to protect us when danger is near. If we lived in a war torn country, we can understand why it lives and breathes in our daily lives. However, for many of us, we are in no danger.

Recently (and coincidentally), I was asked, “What do I need to look at if I’m afraid to succeed?” Let’s explore how fear paralyzes us.

We fear pain, either emotional or physical or both, depending on the circumstances. The need to relieve pain can force us to resort to drugs, alcohol or compulsive eating. Anything to make us feel better. Note how often this topic is discussed in books and on TV.

We fear losing loved ones, be they human or animal. A mother caring for her sick child will forget to eat and care for herself in order to protect and care for her beloved family. Stories abound testifying to the sacrifices and love demonstrated in great acts of heroism.

We fear sickness, whether it is of the body, the mind or the emotions. The fear of returning cancer is very real in today’s world. Mental and emotional illnesses are still being explored and researched to find ways to remedy the effects of each. Is it hereditary or is it the environment that causes it? Scientists are still probing the causes.

We fear opposition and misunderstanding especially in our significant relationships both personal and professional. Our feelings are hurt if our ideas are frowned upon or laughed at. When we try to communicate we are misunderstood.

We fear failure and often think it will be a devastating experience. Common sense and experience tell us that this is not so. Yet the feeling can persist forcing us to take a closer look at what is behind all this.

Ultimately, we fear growing old and dying. Sometimes thinking of both causes us to ponder the question, “How can I make my life meaningful, worthwhile and beneficial to the people in my life? Or, as Mary Oliver asked, “what do you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

When we look at the reasons for our fears and identify them, we can then explore ways to eradicate or lessen the fear and become not paralyzed, but free.

Choosing self-preservation is not necessarily choosing life. We may need to step into what we fear and, in so doing, disperse the hold fear has on us.

The secret is to trust, in oneself and the universe that we know in our inmost being what it takes to live a wonderful, precious and successful life. Courage follows trust because there are times when we have to risk life and limb, so to speak, to conquer fear and move ahead to realize the plans to begin living a rich and fulfilled life.

We may come to realize that in facing our pain, health will be the result. That in facing death, we choose life. That in accepting that we have done all we can and our ways of seeing have failed, we dare to step into the void.

As Melodie Beattie advises in her book, Journey To The Heart,
"Climb over the wall of fear.

Gently face your fears one at a time as they arise." (P.114-115)

In so doing, as we become aware of the particular one, we acknowledge what we are feeling. Dialogue with it. Trust and courage will follow to release this negative energy. Joy comes as it floats away. It becomes a wisdom step for us to think and see in new ways. How exciting it is to feel free and light hearted, as a result!

In an upcoming blog entry, I will be discussing another secret to success. A hint for you to get an inside track is to read my book, Quest for Happiness Handling Difficult Relationships Using the FTA Approach. Stay tuned and please feel free to leave a comment here on what you would like to have discussed.

May you continue to explore your wild and precious life.

Until the next time,

Bride