Happiness Revisited - Part II

In my last blog entry, I asked if you had a definition for happiness. You can find my definition in the Introduction of my book, Quest for Happiness. I am now adding that happiness, for me, is being of service to others. There is a drive and passion in me to help others.

Just recently I began working with prisoners on Effective Communication Skills. The correctional officers at the facility even remarked how beneficial a course this would be for them as well. What came through loud and clear is the need to learn the skill of ‘saying what you mean’ and ‘meaning what you say’ and I add, doing it in an appropriate manner.

In my discussions with these participants, it is evident how dream of happiness underlie their every action. Oftentimes, in their cases, the end result is not the joy of happiness but the pain of incarceration! They often seek happiness in drugs, alcohol and violence - reacting in a similar manner to what, often, is their parents’ dysfunctional behavior. And so the cycle of dysfunctionality continues.

To get an idea of what I mean by dysfunctional behavior, read Chapter Six, Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships in my book Quest for Happiness. Here I discuss the qualities of both a good relationship and an unhealthy one. All of us, no matter the type of relationship we are in, can always learn something new about communication.

With regard to these incarcerated men, I taught them the FTA Approach to begin the whole process of good communication. Helping them come to an awareness that they need to acknowledge their feelings first, is a very basic and important step in the process. Most often reacting in anger, which is moving from F-feelings to A- action, is their biggest problem. By stopping after the feelings to T - think they learn to respond in A-action, appropriately. Their usual manner of reacting begins with getting angry and then punching out the person with whom they have the disagreement, often accompanied by violent angry words. The FTA Approach teaches them (and us) to respond rather than react to a negative situation.

In this course, I also taught them how to use “I” language, hone listening skills, resolve conflict and develop good communication strategies. Each one of these topics needs a full chapter in any book written on communication. As you realize, I cannot do justice to such important topics here. However, in future blogs, I will reference aspects of these important strategies for effective communication. Check Chapter Seven, Strategies for Success, of my book, Quest for Happiness, where I touch on these topics. In case you weren't aware, my book is available for purchase on Amazon. Please visit this link for more information: http://www.amazon.ca/Happiness-Handling-Difficult-Relationships-Approach/dp/1926689127

Stay tuned to another discussion on the importance of effective communication in all our relationships- whether at work or at home and all places in between!

Feel free to comment on any of my musings. I look forward to hearing from you,

Until then, be at peace and smile.

Bride