Grieving the Losses

In February, I wrote a blog posting on the topic of the power of love. As you know, I focused on the death of a loving father and his family. Since then I have experienced three events that have me reflecting on the purpose and meaning of life.

The first is that of the loss of our 15 year old male dog, Kippy, who died of a heart attack. It will be a week ago tomorrow. We still have our little female dog, Steffie, who is a great comfort to us.

The second took place just over two weeks ago when I was informed that my best friend of 49 years was diagnosed with a brain bleed and is struggling to cope with it. She epitomizes what a health conscious person with regular exercise and sensible nutrition would look like. It appears a simple fall resulted in this condition.

The third has been with me over the past five years. Just over two years ago my younger sister by 10 years was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s. When I called her last night at the nursing home where she is for a week of respite care, I found her sad, lonely and depressed. If only I could be with her at this time, but I am a day’s journey away from her.

These three experiences have come together in such a way that I realize I am grieving their losses. How does one cope? How do I cope?

I find myself pondering, seemingly distracted, needing time to reflect away from people so I can make sense of it in my life. It strips away the outer coating of what is unimportant and forces me to seek inward to the depths of my being. I become aware of the reality of life in all its starkness and realize what is important is intangible.

The quality of my life is based on love, gratitude and caring for others. My relationships with my family and friends are paramount. Looking back over the past 15 years, I see how important it is to be grateful, to love and to care for others. Those others are my extended family which includes the wider community, the earth and all its creatures and our world. Surrounding myself with these qualities I can bring peace to all I meet in the course of my daily life.

I grieve my losses but I also know and reflect on the gifts I have given by these very people, by my own healthiness and ability to live a fulfilled and happy life.

I find I am asking myself: By what qualities am I living?

Even as I grieve, I am grateful for the giftedness of loving people in my life. I am happy that I am healthy so that I can help others and bring hope and peace to those who need it. I have many sources of support, people and books to help me cope with daily stresses and heartaches I am experiencing. I believe in the goodness of people and love that we share together. I trust that, ‘this too shall pass’ and I will continue living an abundant life.

Just as Spring gives us hope, sunshine, flowers and trees that will bloom again, so we too will experience all the beauty and happiness we are entitled to in this wonderful universe.

Just as Kippy crossed over the rainbow to the bridge of a better life, so we too can journey onward, knowing that we have within us all the hope and joy of Spring and Summer in our hearts!

Until next time, keep smiling and be at peace,

Bride

How to Find Love in Your Life!

February is the month dedicated to love. Valentine’s day, the 14th in particular is given attention worldwide for showering love, roses, chocolates, cards, candlelight dinners and/or gifts of every kind imaginable on a loved one. Romantic love is in the air! But what of other kinds of love- family love, caring for one’s neighbor, the earth we live on, the stranger and the poor? How do we find love and give love?

In my own life, during this very month which is coming quickly to a close, I have experienced the kind of love that is inspirational!  A dying father tended to lovingly and gently by his family. A blended family with children from different marriages learns how to cope because they love the one that brought them together. We witnessed the sense of humor, the patience, the ability to face death with peace and serenity with an underlying deep spirituality. Such a gift provided the family with the ability to be gentle and compassionate with each other. Friendships formed will continue because of this shared experience. The legacy of that gentle man is one of love that will live on in the hearts of all who spent such a short but valuable time with him.

Need I say more about the power of love?

Until the next time, be loving and loved,

Bride  

A Fresh Start in 2012

During this year of 2012, what will be envisioned, created, discovered and destroyed?  We are given the opportunity to begin anew, to open a blank page and write our script. Many of us would love to erase actions that we are not proud of and have them forgotten by others who witnessed them. However, we know that is unlikely but we can make a resolution to reflect on how we can be happier and joyful people, considerate of others and willing to be helpful and kind in our own little world, as well as succeed in our careers.

Consider your life, its relationships and the challenges as well as the joys you experience. Are you content with how your life is at present? What do you want differently? Have you thought about how you would change your life?

One suggestion is to focus on SIX major areas of your life to determine whether you are content or discontented. Evaluate using a scale of 1- 10, with 1 being totally dissatisfied and 10 being totally satisfied. I suggest these:

1.    Family relationships
2.    Financial
3.    Health- physical, emotional, spiritual and mental
4.    Career
5.    Social
6.    Personal time

You may want to add or subtract from these categories. First, focus on the one that is worrying you. Is it your personal or professional relationship that gives you sleepless nights? Your finances? Your physical health? Your work load?

Next, identify it or them and ponder what you want to do, how you can do it and who can help you do it? For example, do you want to be healthier and more active physically? Examine what physical activity you enjoy, such as walking, swimming, biking, dancing, skiing, or anything else you have fun doing. Where can you fit it in your daily or weekly schedule, where and when you can exercise and if someone can join you or help you?

If it’s a personal or professional challenge,

A.    Is stress the biggest factor?
One way that helps me is to take time and listen to one of my Relaxation Techniques. When you buy my book, Quest for Happiness, you will receive a free copy of the CD of Relaxation Techniques. To give you a taste of what the CD contains, I am giving you a FREE audio of the Relaxation Technique called The Peaceful Valley. The link is found at the end of this article.

B.    Can you identify what is your biggest challenge in one of your significant relationships? As you can gather, there are no simple and easy solutions. When you are willing to tackle it, look around to see if someone you trust can be of assistance to find the way out of your dilemma. If not, check out agencies, even the internet to find the help you need.

In the meantime, check out my book, Quest for Happiness on Amazon.ca. Just visit http://www.amazon.ca/Happiness-Handling-Difficult-Relationships-Approach/dp/1926689127 to place your order. This GPS of Relationships which evolved out of the need to help clients in their relationship difficulties is a road map to empower you to find happiness and a fulfilling life of joy and peace. An accompanying CD of Relaxation Techniques will enable you to cope with the stress of your situation. Should you need to contact me, that information will be included when you purchase the book.

As I promised above, this is the link for the FREE audio of The Peaceful Valley. Please visit http://harborofhappiness.com/pages/freeproduct.html and enter your information to receive it. Please feel free to send me your comments and how you felt after listening to it. I realize that it is a short term solution but it is an effective one. I know because I have tried it many times. My readers have told me also.

In closing, please comment on this or past blogs. Some people have indicated that they are unable to do this. Simply go to https://accounts.google.com/NewAccount and follow the instructions, then come back here to my blog to comment. 

Remember as I said in the beginning, we are taking a fresh look at our lives with the hope that 2012 will be one of joy and happiness based on what we plan to do to attain that goal.

Until next time,
Be at peace.

Bride