Happy New Year! How often we hear this greeting as December draws to a close! Whether we plan to make resolutions for the New Year or not, we still make decisions consciously or unconsciously for the next twelve months. Not to decide is to decide, so we are told.
The question here is, “What’s important in your life?” Some people just ‘go with the flow’ while others make agonizing decisions about what’s important to them. Let’s reflect on that for a moment.
What makes you want to get up in the morning? Your children, your job or the money you want to make? Are you looking forward to this coming year, despite the current condition of the economy, global warming, the million of jobs being lost, the wars and poverty in so many countries of the world? In a recent survey, fifty- eight per cent of people voiced that they have hope for the coming year. Two-thirds of them still have confidence that they will have jobs in the New Year.
Do you feel pressured to make resolutions? What is important in your life? As the theme of my book, Quest for Happiness states, we are all on a journey to find happiness. What will that happiness consist of for you? Is it more money, a new relationship, beauty, education, fame, power or security? All of these things are important and are needed by each one of us in some form or another.
In the middle of the third century B.C., Aristotle wrote that “Happiness depends upon ourselves.” This invites us to do some introspection. Several suggestions that I find helpful are:
1. In January, reflect on last year’s successes and think about
building on one or two of those for the coming year.
2. Find out what it is that you really value and are most interested in and work on those things rather than give up something in your life.
3. After reflecting on who you are and what you like about your-
self, choose to make a goal that is measurable, well planned, written down and accountable to a partner or friend.
You may think of others that fit you and your lifestyle. The main thrust is that you want to move forward on your journey, becoming a better person making the world a better place to be because of your gifts and talents, generous in sharing with your family and friends.
Happy New Year!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Celebration of Light and Life
As we near the end of another year, it is very fitting to look back and reflect upon what we have experienced. For some, it has been a wonderful, very successful and happy year, filled with many accomplishments. For others, it was a year filled with great pain, loss and sorrow because of the death of a loved one or the separation of parents, siblings or children. What is your story?
Each month of December brings together family and friends to celebrate particular holidays. Many travel from far and near to be part of gatherings.
Because we are now in the time of winter and darkness comes so soon in the northern hemisphere, we naturally focus on light. Light is a symbol used all over the world in many religious festivals and holiday get-togethers. It is meant to lift our spirits and create a sense of community for all who are participating in the merriment. Often community festivities set up a display of musical selections to accompany the lights. In religious festivals, singing and dancing, with particular honored readings accompany the lighting of candles. In all, the light is the center of the party or assembly.
As I reflect on this time of year, I realize that here is an opportunity to take some time to look backward but also look forward to the upcoming year. Last New Years gave me a chance to make new resolutions or revamp the old ones. How did I do? Did I actually list one or several and kept them in mind during the year? What am I planning to do this coming year?
The celebrations of light and life are very important for me. The two are intertwined. I love the bright sunshine and all that it brings. The cold and dark of winter makes me appreciate the upcoming spring and summer. Every celebration of light nurtures my soul and helps me focus on the bright colors in the tapestry of my life with family and friends.
May you too celebrate light and life, often in the midst of winter! Keep spring in the sanctuary of your heart!
Saturday, December 6, 2008
The Greatest Gift of All
In my last entry, I discussed being grateful for the many wonderful gifts in our lives. Too often people think of the external gifts that are given at special times when we celebrate one of life’s milestones. Gift giving includes all of these, of course. We all like to be the recipient of another’s love and generosity.
If we stop to consider the purpose of gift giving, we soon realize that when we purchase something for that special someone, we give of ourselves as well. We want the people we love to receive the very best of what this world has to offer. Yet when we search the human heart, we soon come to realize that the most important thing we want is to be loved for who we are and not for what we own or how we look.
Gift giving is characteristic of all cultures. Since the advent of human beings, there has been a tradition of giving gifts. Not only as expressions of love, friendship and gratitude to celebrate happy (and sad) events, gift giving is also used for charity such as providing aid to needy countries in times of misfortune.
Just as children often do, adults can get caught up with the pretty wrapping and decorations, and often forget about the genuine gift inside. Those of us here in North America, as well as others around the globe, are becoming conscious that we need to take care of our earth. One way we can do this is to adopt the wonderful Japanese tradition of cloth wrapping called furoshiki, an ecologically friendly alternative to the millions of tons of wrapping paper and shopping bags sent to landfills.
Take some time to ponder who you are and what gifts you bring to your relationships. If you remember, I suggested that the first one you name is your own special qualities and uniqueness. Your uniqueness and other special qualities are gifts that you are born with, and you also developed special talents as you grew up. Some of your abilities may be those that parents and teachers encouraged on your journey to maturity.
What is the gift you first give yourself? Are you caring, loving and compassionate, and do you forgive yourself when you make mistakes? If you do, in turn, you can show the same gentle kindness to others. They will appreciate a gift wrapped in love and attentiveness.
What other gifts do you bring to your relationships? Are you a cheerful, joyful, laughter-prone individual? When life hands you sour grapes, how do you react? What kind of environment do you create in your world of family and friends? Are you a joy to be around, at least, most of the time?
What if you have no money to buy expensive gifts? Here is a great way to take stock of your own uniqueness. Wrapped in your love and generosity, even the smallest gifts will be welcomed and treasured. Like the little drummer boy, the gift of your self would be the greatest gift of all.
If we stop to consider the purpose of gift giving, we soon realize that when we purchase something for that special someone, we give of ourselves as well. We want the people we love to receive the very best of what this world has to offer. Yet when we search the human heart, we soon come to realize that the most important thing we want is to be loved for who we are and not for what we own or how we look.
Gift giving is characteristic of all cultures. Since the advent of human beings, there has been a tradition of giving gifts. Not only as expressions of love, friendship and gratitude to celebrate happy (and sad) events, gift giving is also used for charity such as providing aid to needy countries in times of misfortune.
Just as children often do, adults can get caught up with the pretty wrapping and decorations, and often forget about the genuine gift inside. Those of us here in North America, as well as others around the globe, are becoming conscious that we need to take care of our earth. One way we can do this is to adopt the wonderful Japanese tradition of cloth wrapping called furoshiki, an ecologically friendly alternative to the millions of tons of wrapping paper and shopping bags sent to landfills.
Take some time to ponder who you are and what gifts you bring to your relationships. If you remember, I suggested that the first one you name is your own special qualities and uniqueness. Your uniqueness and other special qualities are gifts that you are born with, and you also developed special talents as you grew up. Some of your abilities may be those that parents and teachers encouraged on your journey to maturity.
What is the gift you first give yourself? Are you caring, loving and compassionate, and do you forgive yourself when you make mistakes? If you do, in turn, you can show the same gentle kindness to others. They will appreciate a gift wrapped in love and attentiveness.
What other gifts do you bring to your relationships? Are you a cheerful, joyful, laughter-prone individual? When life hands you sour grapes, how do you react? What kind of environment do you create in your world of family and friends? Are you a joy to be around, at least, most of the time?
What if you have no money to buy expensive gifts? Here is a great way to take stock of your own uniqueness. Wrapped in your love and generosity, even the smallest gifts will be welcomed and treasured. Like the little drummer boy, the gift of your self would be the greatest gift of all.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Gratitude
One of the topics I often find myself writing about in my journal is gratitude. I get to thinking about all the wonderful times, people and events in my life. Actually I once heard someone mention what they called a Bliss Bucket. The idea being that you fill up your bucket throughout your day with the things you are grateful for. Ask yourself this question: Am I able to have it filled to the top every night and give thanks for all the blessings of the day?
As I mentioned in the previous section, a journal can be used to write about the daily successes. Too often it is so easy to list all the failures of the day and become depressed rather than focus on the positive aspects of yourself and the accomplishments that you’ve experienced throughout your day. In October of each year, Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving. Today is the American Thanksgiving. Are you able to list all the things that you can be thankful for at this time in your life?
The Gratitude Theory was recently penned after a scientific study found that gratitude plays a role in our sense of well being. All of us have heard or even sung the song from the Sound of Music called “A Few of My Favorite Things.”
Let’s compose this list. Begin with ten things that you are thankful for. How do you feel? Reread them, really think, feel and recall each experience before going on to the next one. Is laughter listed as one of them? I know of one person who has listed fifty items on their list! Basically, it doesn’t matter how many you name but how many you are truly grateful for. It is my hope that the first one you name is your own special qualities and uniqueness as a gift to be truly thankful for.
As my mother used to say, “Goodness comes home to roost.” For me, the message I got from her was that if you spread goodness and kindness to others, you would receive it in return. For you, I want it to mean that once you realize just how special you are everyone else will begin to see it as well. You will be surprised at what happens in your life when you respect and love yourself first. This wonderful new energy of yours flows out from you: others sense it and pick up on it. You get it back in turn! Isn’t it wonderful?
Begin your Gratitude Log with you and your giftedness, and celebrate this time. I hope you will discover that there are so many things about you and your world to be thankful for!
Until next time,
Bride
As I mentioned in the previous section, a journal can be used to write about the daily successes. Too often it is so easy to list all the failures of the day and become depressed rather than focus on the positive aspects of yourself and the accomplishments that you’ve experienced throughout your day. In October of each year, Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving. Today is the American Thanksgiving. Are you able to list all the things that you can be thankful for at this time in your life?
The Gratitude Theory was recently penned after a scientific study found that gratitude plays a role in our sense of well being. All of us have heard or even sung the song from the Sound of Music called “A Few of My Favorite Things.”
Let’s compose this list. Begin with ten things that you are thankful for. How do you feel? Reread them, really think, feel and recall each experience before going on to the next one. Is laughter listed as one of them? I know of one person who has listed fifty items on their list! Basically, it doesn’t matter how many you name but how many you are truly grateful for. It is my hope that the first one you name is your own special qualities and uniqueness as a gift to be truly thankful for.
As my mother used to say, “Goodness comes home to roost.” For me, the message I got from her was that if you spread goodness and kindness to others, you would receive it in return. For you, I want it to mean that once you realize just how special you are everyone else will begin to see it as well. You will be surprised at what happens in your life when you respect and love yourself first. This wonderful new energy of yours flows out from you: others sense it and pick up on it. You get it back in turn! Isn’t it wonderful?
Begin your Gratitude Log with you and your giftedness, and celebrate this time. I hope you will discover that there are so many things about you and your world to be thankful for!
Until next time,
Bride
Friday, November 21, 2008
Journaling
In my previous posts, I've mentioned some different methods to use when trying to figure out your life purpose, dreams and goals. One of these techniques is to write them down. A fancy word for that is journaling. It’s similar to the practice of keeping a ship's log which is used to detail the happenings, maintenance, daily weather conditions and ports of call for each vessel during its voyage. But, on a personal level, journaling is so much more than that. You can use it for anything you want such as writing poetry, keeping a favorite recipe or simply recording daily successes in your work, your relationships, or both.
The benefits of journaling are many. Writing down your thoughts can calm your mind of its endless chatter. It is a great focusing tool to help you sort out what’s on your mind, how you want to structure your day, or to list the goals you wish to accomplish. Journaling is also a great forum to vent your feelings especially if you are very angry or depressed. You can pretend that you’re writing to someone and reveal your most intimate thoughts and feelings. That person could be alive or dead; they could be your best friend, or bitter enemy. The main purpose of journaling is to either get rid of the garbage inside you or to express the most beautiful feelings that arise within you.
You can ask yourself simple or complex questions on issues that you are wrestling with at work or in relationships. You can list the pros and cons to answer those questions. Taking the time to stop and look for patterns in your personal or professional life can be enlightening and often uplifting for you. If it is depressing, hopefully it will force you to contemplate the question, “What am I going to do about making my life a happy one?” Maybe you have to list your strengths and weaknesses to give you a sense of what is missing in your life. For example, one observation you can make is: “If I am excellent at my work but a failure in my personal life, how can I apply some of those skills to make my personal life a success?” Answer your own question. It may become the attitude-changing event in your life that will enable you to take action and begin a whole new way of living.
I often use journaling as a form of meditation. In reviewing a number of my past journals, I noted the progress I have made emotionally and spiritually during different stages of my life. Combinations of poetry, prayer and prose are all mixed into what I have thought, felt and experienced at any given time.
You too can use journaling for meditation, for logging successes and accomplishments, and for making note of major changes in your life. Are you still in the same frame of mind today as you were ten years ago? Are you still ‘complaining’ about the same people or events now as you were back then? Journaling helps you to look for patterns in your thinking, feeling and behavior. It also gives you time to yourself especially in a hectic and noisy world.
In my book, Quest for Happiness, you will get an opportunity to journal your answers to questions that I ask in each chapter. I am including guided meditations to further facilitate your personal and spiritual progress. I hope you find these techniques helpful.
Do yourself a favor and take the time to journal. Keep the log book of your journey - your voyage. You won’t regret it in the long haul. Who knows, maybe at the end of a period of time you’ll have written the story of your life- one that you may want to share with your children, grandchildren and the rest of the world!
I'll be writing more in the upcoming week, and in the meantime, I welcome any questions or comments you may have.
Until next time,
Bride
The benefits of journaling are many. Writing down your thoughts can calm your mind of its endless chatter. It is a great focusing tool to help you sort out what’s on your mind, how you want to structure your day, or to list the goals you wish to accomplish. Journaling is also a great forum to vent your feelings especially if you are very angry or depressed. You can pretend that you’re writing to someone and reveal your most intimate thoughts and feelings. That person could be alive or dead; they could be your best friend, or bitter enemy. The main purpose of journaling is to either get rid of the garbage inside you or to express the most beautiful feelings that arise within you.
You can ask yourself simple or complex questions on issues that you are wrestling with at work or in relationships. You can list the pros and cons to answer those questions. Taking the time to stop and look for patterns in your personal or professional life can be enlightening and often uplifting for you. If it is depressing, hopefully it will force you to contemplate the question, “What am I going to do about making my life a happy one?” Maybe you have to list your strengths and weaknesses to give you a sense of what is missing in your life. For example, one observation you can make is: “If I am excellent at my work but a failure in my personal life, how can I apply some of those skills to make my personal life a success?” Answer your own question. It may become the attitude-changing event in your life that will enable you to take action and begin a whole new way of living.
I often use journaling as a form of meditation. In reviewing a number of my past journals, I noted the progress I have made emotionally and spiritually during different stages of my life. Combinations of poetry, prayer and prose are all mixed into what I have thought, felt and experienced at any given time.
You too can use journaling for meditation, for logging successes and accomplishments, and for making note of major changes in your life. Are you still in the same frame of mind today as you were ten years ago? Are you still ‘complaining’ about the same people or events now as you were back then? Journaling helps you to look for patterns in your thinking, feeling and behavior. It also gives you time to yourself especially in a hectic and noisy world.
In my book, Quest for Happiness, you will get an opportunity to journal your answers to questions that I ask in each chapter. I am including guided meditations to further facilitate your personal and spiritual progress. I hope you find these techniques helpful.
Do yourself a favor and take the time to journal. Keep the log book of your journey - your voyage. You won’t regret it in the long haul. Who knows, maybe at the end of a period of time you’ll have written the story of your life- one that you may want to share with your children, grandchildren and the rest of the world!
I'll be writing more in the upcoming week, and in the meantime, I welcome any questions or comments you may have.
Until next time,
Bride
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Finding Your Life Purpose
In my first post and introduction to my blog, I asked several questions that we all ask ourselves at one time or another. “Who am I and where am I going?” is a basic one. Ask yourself that question and begin your answer with “I am______." Off the top of your head, you would say, “I am a business man or a housewife. I am a father or a mother and so on.” Continue the process and dig deeper; brainstorming all the things you think that you are. Begin each sentence with, “I am…” Keep writing until you can’t think of anything else to say. When you have reviewed what you have written, pay attention to its overall tone. Have you described yourself in positive, or negative terms, or is it a combination of both?
This can be a good conversation starter with a close friend or partner. What would they say about you? Would you fear that it would be negative? Would they like to try the same exercise for themselves? Makes you stop and think, doesn't it? Are you honest with yourself and that person? Why or why not?
Let’s go to the second part of the question, “Where am I going?” You could say, “I am going to San Francisco for two weeks or I am going to go crazy if the kids don’t turn down the TV or my husband doesn’t stop using the remote to flick through 100 channels.”
A better question is “As I am journeying on this earth with these people in my life, what is my life purpose, dreams and goals?” Wow! That really makes us sit down and ponder!
As I look back over my life, I can remember being asked a similar question after finishing high school, “What do you want to do with your life?” Ten years ago after finishing a thirty-one year career in the educational field, the question popped up again. Just last May, I began a program that actually focused on “What is my life purpose?”
The key is to identify what gives you life, energy, happiness and makes you want to get up in the morning. Is it running your own business, caring for small children or retiring from a boring job to spend time with your loved ones at the cottage or travelling to see the world? Can you name yours?
In my case, I’ve always wanted to help people so I became a teacher and counselor. Now, I am presently working on my dream to write and publish a book which can help a lot more people than is physically possible for me to reach. Something inside is driving me to get my knowledge and experience on paper. My fear is that it is not what people are interested in. Does this sound familiar to you, and do you also have the same types of fears?
At the bottom of this blog is a place where you can write your comments about what I’ve written. I invite you to be the first to share your story. Tell me how my sharing, and subsequently; how my book may benefit your life.
I look forward to your responses, and wish to thank you in advance, for sharing.
Until next time,
Bride
This can be a good conversation starter with a close friend or partner. What would they say about you? Would you fear that it would be negative? Would they like to try the same exercise for themselves? Makes you stop and think, doesn't it? Are you honest with yourself and that person? Why or why not?
Let’s go to the second part of the question, “Where am I going?” You could say, “I am going to San Francisco for two weeks or I am going to go crazy if the kids don’t turn down the TV or my husband doesn’t stop using the remote to flick through 100 channels.”
A better question is “As I am journeying on this earth with these people in my life, what is my life purpose, dreams and goals?” Wow! That really makes us sit down and ponder!
As I look back over my life, I can remember being asked a similar question after finishing high school, “What do you want to do with your life?” Ten years ago after finishing a thirty-one year career in the educational field, the question popped up again. Just last May, I began a program that actually focused on “What is my life purpose?”
The key is to identify what gives you life, energy, happiness and makes you want to get up in the morning. Is it running your own business, caring for small children or retiring from a boring job to spend time with your loved ones at the cottage or travelling to see the world? Can you name yours?
In my case, I’ve always wanted to help people so I became a teacher and counselor. Now, I am presently working on my dream to write and publish a book which can help a lot more people than is physically possible for me to reach. Something inside is driving me to get my knowledge and experience on paper. My fear is that it is not what people are interested in. Does this sound familiar to you, and do you also have the same types of fears?
At the bottom of this blog is a place where you can write your comments about what I’ve written. I invite you to be the first to share your story. Tell me how my sharing, and subsequently; how my book may benefit your life.
I look forward to your responses, and wish to thank you in advance, for sharing.
Until next time,
Bride
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Quest for Happiness - An Introduction
From infancy to death, every human being is on a journey, searching for love, for fulfillment, longing for intimacy and finding it, sometimes in the wrong places.
In this modern world of ours, instant gratification is the answer to our every need, so screams the media. Yet, never before in our society, has the human heart cried out for recognition, for peace and happiness. Bigger is better, as in homes, and thinner is desirable, as the ads bombard us. Find happiness with wearing this apparel, driving this vehicle or owning this yacht. Then we will be happy.
Yet when the TV is turned off and the silence is all around us, we question, “Who am I and where am I going? What am I doing in this relationship? Why am I unhappy?” Are these your questions as well? How would you define happiness?
The purpose of this book is to explore all these questions as it relates to you and all the important people in your life. Do you know what your life purpose is? Do you have unfulfilled dreams and goals? What or who, do you feel, is preventing you from living a fulfilled and happy life? Many people have defined happiness and written about it in various books. The definition of happiness is a very personal one, and it has different meanings for each and every one of us.
I would define it as the decision to be responsible for my own joy and recognizing that I have the ability to know my own worth; That I am capable of deep feelings, living responsibly and blissfully, enjoying the freedom of building my own life in a caring and loving way with my family and friends. I can be generous to others because I am uniquely gifted and talented in many ways. I can care for our earth and all its creatures, whether living and non-living, in an atmosphere of peace and harmony with all its inhabitants.
Can you write your own definition of happiness? If not, I can help you explore your life in terms of three steps or approaches that I call the FTA Approach:
You will be given an opportunity to:
1. Identify and examine your feelings with regard to your
present reality. This defines very simply Step 1: FEEL
2. Use various techniques, such as, questioning, journaling, and utilizing guided meditation to hone your thinking abilities and gifts in Step 2: THINK
3. Outline and achieve a detailed, personal plan of action, using available resources to help you accomplish your dreams and goals in life, which is Step 3: ACT.
I will go into more details in my next post. Until then, I welcome any comments or questions!
In this modern world of ours, instant gratification is the answer to our every need, so screams the media. Yet, never before in our society, has the human heart cried out for recognition, for peace and happiness. Bigger is better, as in homes, and thinner is desirable, as the ads bombard us. Find happiness with wearing this apparel, driving this vehicle or owning this yacht. Then we will be happy.
Yet when the TV is turned off and the silence is all around us, we question, “Who am I and where am I going? What am I doing in this relationship? Why am I unhappy?” Are these your questions as well? How would you define happiness?
The purpose of this book is to explore all these questions as it relates to you and all the important people in your life. Do you know what your life purpose is? Do you have unfulfilled dreams and goals? What or who, do you feel, is preventing you from living a fulfilled and happy life? Many people have defined happiness and written about it in various books. The definition of happiness is a very personal one, and it has different meanings for each and every one of us.
I would define it as the decision to be responsible for my own joy and recognizing that I have the ability to know my own worth; That I am capable of deep feelings, living responsibly and blissfully, enjoying the freedom of building my own life in a caring and loving way with my family and friends. I can be generous to others because I am uniquely gifted and talented in many ways. I can care for our earth and all its creatures, whether living and non-living, in an atmosphere of peace and harmony with all its inhabitants.
Can you write your own definition of happiness? If not, I can help you explore your life in terms of three steps or approaches that I call the FTA Approach:
You will be given an opportunity to:
1. Identify and examine your feelings with regard to your
present reality. This defines very simply Step 1: FEEL
2. Use various techniques, such as, questioning, journaling, and utilizing guided meditation to hone your thinking abilities and gifts in Step 2: THINK
3. Outline and achieve a detailed, personal plan of action, using available resources to help you accomplish your dreams and goals in life, which is Step 3: ACT.
I will go into more details in my next post. Until then, I welcome any comments or questions!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
